Make It Stop Please
by RingMasterJellyBean
Summary: It's hard growing up and coming to terms with yourself and the people around you, no matter who you are. Going through school doesn't help. Thor can feel Loki drifting away from him and decides he'll help him whatever it will take. WARNINGS: Self harm, suicide, non-con, bullying . Eventual Thorki. Will get progressively darker each chapter. May raise rating to M later.
1. Chapter 1

"I will never understand you Loki, you just don't make sense. One moment you're hot, the next you're cold," Thor called, as with a cold glare Loki flounced away, "you're more temperamental than a summer storm." he sighed sadly to himself, the clacks of his brothers boots echoing sharply away into the distance.

He sighed, no matter how hard he tried to talk to his brother he always managed to put his foot in it somehow.

He would never stop trying, despite his ineloquence Thor had a good heart and loved his brother dearly – adopted brother – he corrected himself in his head bitterly, their Dad hadn't helped make that news any easier when the two siblings had stumbled upon a box of Lokis baby things in the attic with what he said.

"_Where you ever going to tell me?"_

"_Eventually."_

"_Eventually?"_

"_When you were older. Although I guess you've saved me the effort now."_

Their Dad had then gone back to reading his paper, brushing it off cruelly as if it were nothing.

The anguished look on Lokis face burnt onto the inside of his eyes, Thor knows he will never forget it for as long as his memory serves; it was a look of pain you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, let alone ever wish to see on your family.

When Thor had chased him to his room to comfort his little brother Loki had responded by throwing whatever he could lay his hands on at him until he left. He had heard the tears through the wall between their rooms and hated how helpless he felt. He had fallen asleep to the sound of his brothers tears and the morning after Lokis eyes had been swollen and bloodshot as though he had barely slept at all.

Two years later and Loki had cut himself off completely, only speaking in short sentences, and only when someone else initiated, it was like living with an antisocial ghost.

That was how Thor had gotten them arguing where they were now. He'd tried to spark up a conversation when passing him in the corridor at school. It would have been fine had Fandral not poked fun at him. It wasn't anything bad, just a gentle tease relating mildly to some part of whatever he and Loki had been chatting about at that moment, but Loki stiffened instantly, his face slipping back to its mask of indifference after the brief emotion that had flickered across it too fast for Thor to decipher.

"A mystery…" he mumbled. Fandral swung his arm around Thors neck, proclaiming that they didn't need him anyway, as he dragged him towards their next class. His words were harmless jest he knew, but clearly they had struck a nerve with Loki, and he couldn't help but worry.

His little brother wasn't like him and his friends, he was sensitive.

But he was still his little brother, blood or not, it didn't matter.

* * *

Loki fumed as he stormed along the corridor. How dare he, how dare he?!

Stupid Fandral, he was finally talking to Thor, having a halfway normal conversation for once, and he had to butt in.

"_Mum and Dad are going out tonight, are you okay with sausage and chips for dinner?"_

Completely normal.

_"Yeah, sounds fine."_

"_I bought your favourite type" Thor had said with a smile._

He was trying to cheer him up he knew.

_"Thors sausage is your favourite right Loki? Or would you rather come over tonight and try mine?"_

In hindsight he may have overreacted. He hadn't meant anything by it. He couldn't. Fandral was less observant than Thor was. It was just Fandral being Fandral and teasing everyone in sight about anything that presented the opportunity, the grin on his face was evidence further it wasn't meant to upset him. And now he was going to be forced to talk about what had happened once he was home. His mind span trying to come up with a reasonable explanation as to his earlier reaction, maybe if he said-

Loki was torn from his thoughts as he slammed into the lockers lining the walls.

"Well, well, well, what have we here boys? Seems a little girl's wandered into big school from the nurser- Oh wait," he said in mock surprise, "It's just Little. Lady. Loki."

Each word had been punctuated with spit flying into Lokis face from the other pressed close to his.

"Now what could you possibly be doing over here? It's nearly lesson time and I know full well your next class is all the way over on the other side of the building. Not trying to hide from me now are you Little Lady Loki?"

The sarcastic tone clung to Lokis skin like cobwebs – sticky and unwelcome.

"Leave me alone Malekith," Loki spoke quietly, "I just need to go to the library before class"

"Now why do you need to go to the library before physical ed hmm?"

The look on Lokis face gave away his fear. That wasn't the best excuse he could have though of. Shit. Uhm. Oh god. His thought desperately for a way to talk himself out of this and came up blank. A thick arm swung around his shoulders, crushing him to Malekiths side. He though humorlessly that this was how Thor and Fandral usually strolled about when they were happy, for him it was a walk to another nightmare.

* * *

Thor sat in his math class staring out the window. God he hated math. And whoever decided that the addition of letters to it was a good thing was sorely mistaken. He knew Loki was good at math, maybe he'd help him with his homework later.

Loki.

He hadn't left his mind since he'd stormed off earlier. Maybe he shouldn't make sausage and chips for dinner, as it might remind Loki of earlier.

But maybe not doing so would remind him more as it would be an obvious absence and he'd know instantly why.

Thor was over thinking this he knew, but when it came to his brother he'd never thought normally.

Ever since he'd been three, and Loki had come home swaddled in a blanket with just a tiny tuft of raven hair visible, he'd demanded in the way children do to hold him. Staring down at this tiny person he'd pictured all the things they could do together and had felt protective over his little brother ever since.

Four years after his baby brother had come home, they were playing in the park. A group of boys were playing football a little way over and the brothers had been playing on the roundabout. Thor pushing as fast as his tiny seven year old legs would let him whilst Loki clung on for dear life giggling giddily. They played that game often. This time was different.

The football came flying over and caught Loki on the shoulder. It probably hadn't hurt him much so the shock was more likely what made him burst into tears, but Thor hadn't know that then.

Three of the boys who had been playing had come over to retrieve their ball, they'd glanced at the brothers laughed, picked up their ball and turned to leave without saying a word.

Thors blood boiled.

He'd run up to them shouting at the top of his voice and punched them wherever he could, they'd looked startled then simply pushed him over and walked off. Meanwhile Lokis sobs had turned to screams for their mum. She'd gathered the two of them in her arms and kissed them both. And everything had been alright again.

On Lokis sixth birthday he'd decorated the whole house in green paper and helped their mum make his cake so he could ice it himself. Dark green icing with 'LOKI' sloppily iced on top in light green. It wasn't particularly attractive but he still remembered the huge grin that had been on Lokis face all day after he'd seen it and the bone crushing hug he'd given him.

He smiled, remembering them stealing pastries from the kitchen when no one was watching, playing with the hose in summer, fighting with water bombs, using sticks as swords, running through the woods as their parents called for them to slow down, seeing their parents kissing and trying it themselves. They'd neither seen the attraction of it and had simultaneously wiped their mouth on the back of their hand.

He remembered the first time Loki had crept into his bed at night having had a bad dream. He remembered Loki running up to him crying because someone had pushed him over in the playground and himself pushing the kid over in retaliation. He'd gotten detention for that.

He remembered the first time Loki had brushed something off as nothing too. His smile slipped as the happy memories where slowly replaced by the worse. Loki coming home with a bruise on his arm and refusing to say where it came from. He'd started only wearing his long sleeved shirts from then. The first time he'd not wanted to play outside and stayed in his room by himself. When he'd started only leaving his room for meals.

The smile slipped from his face as Thor, for the thousandth time tried to think how to help his brother.

He could see the sports field from his vantage point and was fairly certain the slight figure bobbing about the pitch was his dear brother. Why he insisted on playing rugby he didn't know. Personally he'd always thought Loki was far better suited for track, he wasn't built for rugby like Thor was. Almost as if to prove his point Loki was floored.

His mind was spinning, how dare anyone hurt his baby brother nobody was allow-

"Just where exactly do you think you're going Mister Odinson?" The sharp voice of his teacher snapped him back to reality as he discovered himself half out of his chair, as if he'd intended to storm down to the sports field and help Loki up himself.

"Move to the front."

And just like that Thor could no longer keep an eye on his brother AND he had to pay attention in math.

* * *

Loki had changed quickly and silently into his sports kit, his long sleeved gray tshirt and black jogging bottoms wasn't really all that appropriate for energetic sports in summer but that didn't stop him. He wasn't comfortable enough with himself to show his body off, even if it were just his arms and legs. He hated sport. But if he was going to be forced to take it he was going to play the most brutal sport the school allowed, thus rugby.

All the other boys who played were well built, tall and strong; Loki wasn't weak but his strengths definitely lay in academia rather than physical exertion. He enjoyed being able to take out his frustrations on other people than himself for a change and know it wasn't really hurting them.

It was relaxing.

Even though he got pummeled more often than anyone else he still found some sense of relief in the physical exertion. It was what came after that stopped him sleeping at night.

The last thing he did on Fridays was play rugby, then according to everyone else he went to the library for two hours before coming home. What actually happened was that he followed Malekith home dejectedly because it would keep him quiet. At least if only Malekith knew what was going on he could survive through each day, if everyone knew his life would end he was sure of it. He had to keep this a secret.

When he arrived home at six Thor was there already prepping dinner, not that sausages and chips were that difficult but Thor was a terrible cook.

When they were little their mum had tried to teach them both to cook and whilst Loki had picked it up straight away, Thor had always had more success making a mess than anything edible. But he didn't want to cook anymore and so Thor was in charge of food whilst their parents were away.

Thor started talking, as he'd know he would, the minute that he stepped through the door. He blabbered on about his day how he'd done this and that, Loki wasn't really paying attention until "So you didn't get too hurt when everyone dogpiled you earlier today did you?"

Lokis head snapped up from the food he was pushing around his plate, "What?"

"You haven't listened to a word I just said have you? I said it's you're fault I got in trouble in maths today, I was watching you play. I asked you if you were alright after getting dogpiled"

"Uh, yeah, fine."

"Are you sure, you've barely touched your dinner"

"Yeah I'm just not hungry"

"You're never hungry anymore, what's the last thing you ate?"

"A banana."

"When?"

The suspicion was rife in Thors voice, Loki was surprised, he didn't think his brother would notice that sort of thing.

"Around twelve-ish?"

"So in the middle of a class."

The accusation in his voice hurt and Loki mumbled to himself that he never said he meant twelve noon. He hadn't expected Thor to hear him.

"You haven't eaten all day!?" You could hear his disbelief "What did you eat before your midnight snack? And when?"

Loki looked at his shoes and tried to conjure an answer that wouldn't further upset his brother, the hands suddenly around his biceps surprised him and he looked up into his brothers mildly frantic face.

"Loki… Please" It was the softest he'd ever heard Thor speak.

"I, I don't, I don't really remember…" The look on his brother face shattered his heart. "A day at least, maybe two. I don't know what I had, I don't remember."

He pulled himself out of his brothers grasp and ran upstairs to hide in his room. He couldn't handle today, he thought he was fine but Thor was figuring him out, he knew it. He had to do something, anything, to get his mind off **this**.

His hands starting to shake he crawled over his bed and slipped down in to the narrow gap between it and the wall, fumbling to open the bottom draw, hands shaking now so badly that his bedside lamp crashed down and landed on his wrist. He flinched at the refreshed pain shooting through his arm, and then grimaced at the memory.

"What did you do?!"

_He was flung into the wall, head reeling at the impact, a body pressed up against him, a hand pinning his wrists above his head, breath hot and heavy upon his neck, the back of a hand stroking gently across his cheek._

"_You can escape this Loki, no matter what you try you will NEVER escape."_

He shuddered.

Pulling the jagged glass from the draw, marveling momentarily at the way it created rainbows on the walls as light hit it before dragging it across the half healed cuts that already lined his inner thigh, watching as the blood spilled out against the aggravated skin.

It wasn't enough.

His world was crumbling around him how could it be anywhere near enough? He brought the glass down, again and again and again. Light headed he stared down at the bloody mess and smiled dazedly, the rainbows were still there but blurry now, and they flickered across the wall, no longer stable. Loki reached out to touch them, maybe if he could catch the rainbows things would get better?

A strange chocking noise startled him, for a moment he thought he'd finally mustered the courage to end it all for good, but he heard it again and this time it broke through the pain induced haze.

Thor.

Standing in the doorway to his room stood his brother, face aghast, frozen as if he didn't know how to react. Lokis eyes met Thors and held his gaze, the shock of being discovered holding him still, clouding his vision, all he could hear anymore was a loud buzzing noise, and his mouth tasted strange as he slowly toppled backwards.

The last thing he saw was Thor running towards him, arms outstretched, before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Thor was held captive by his body, muscles refusing to move as he tried to comprehend the scene before him. His brother, his precious brother Loki, was there before him wide-eyed, blood splattered and shaking. His skin was beyond pale, with a worrying gray blue tinge to it.

More unnervingly than that was the expression on his face though. The ghost of a laugh graced his lips and he looked more at peace than Thor had seen him since **that** day, but that peace was undercut with such anguish that it hurt to see, the noise that slipped past his lips barely served to represent even a tiny part of the emotions he was feeling.

Loki span around, his green eyes met Thors blue, and even then, afraid, dazed and broken, he was still the most beautiful creature Thor had ever seen.

It felt like he tipped backwards in slow motion.

Each moment he was falling wave upon wave of pain and guilt slammed into Thor, and try as he might, not even he could slow down time so as to be quick enough to catch his little brother and lay him gently to rest on the floor. Instead Loki hit in a haphazard sprawl, legs twisting under him, head snapping back on the impact.

Kneeling over him Thor realized he had no idea what to do. He went to gently lift Lokis body onto the bed at least but as he did the body in his arms turned boneless, hanging lifelessly. Thinking back to the way Lokis head hit the floor his immediate reaction was he'd snapped his brothers neck by moving him.

Gently setting him down amongst the pillows Thor looked down in helplessness. He could protect Loki from anything he liked to think, apart from himself, that was a whole other matter.

As was the blood.

He became once more aware of it by stepping in it.

Glancing down to the ragged mess on Lokis thigh Thor gagged. He wasn't normally squeamish but this… This was something else. It was like the meeting of a thousand train tracks. All crossing one another until you could barely tell which line went where. How did you bandage something like that? It was chaos truly. Checking once more that he was breathing, if very shallowly, he retreated to the bathroom to find the first aid kit that had lain unused under the sink ever since they bought it.

Back at Lokis bed side Thor said a silent prayer to anyone who was listening that he would stay asleep for this and started to bathe the cuts. First with lukewarm water and the softest towel he could find, then antiseptic. Thor could feel it stinging in the tiny cut he had where he'd picked one of his finger nails and could barely imagine how bad it would feel on all those interwoven wounds that graced his brother.

Finally as the bleeding eased up Thor could see the full extent of the damage. The fresh cuts stood out brightest against the milky skin of Lokis thigh, but somehow it was the others that more to see. So many raised scars ran along the exposed flesh, some old and white, some still pink, others only barely healed. You could clearly track the progression of how the body heals itself, you had an example of every stage. Bitterly Thor cursed himself for not knowing about this sooner. For not helping. For not doing…something, anything, that would have helped.

Finally setting the gauze against the injuries and wrapping it Thor felt he could sit down and let himself react. Pulling the chair from Lokis desk over so he could sit next to the pillows at the headboard rather than his brothers feet, Thor sat down and the tears that streamed down his face wouldn't stop. Gently he traced his hand down his brothers jaw, wondering whatever happened to the child he'd been.

Poking out from the collar of his shirt Thor spied the purple of a bruise. Hesitantly he unbuttoned the two top buttons, exposing more of the bruise, it was interwoven with yellow and green. It seemed older than it should for something acquired only around six hours earlier. Closing his eyes and begging forgiveness he un-did the rest of the buttons and spread the shirt wide.

His sob caught in his throat as he choked.

Bruises and the occasional strangely shaped scar marred his brothers torso, standing out on his brothers skin like black in on a tablecloth. Quietly recovering his younger brother Thor sat back in a state of absolute shock. He'd never felt so lost.

* * *

Loki woke shivering, he shifted and found the cotton of his duvet glued to his legs and back, peeling away in a most hideous sensation as he went to rise from his prone position to one of sitting up. Peering curiously at Thor sitting, apparently asleep, beside his bed he tried to remember quite how he'd ended up on top of his bed with his brother seemingly keeping guard as he slept. He leant forward to adjust himself and couldn't suppress the pained squeak that slipped from his lips.

Everything hurt. Everywhere. Especially his leg…

Everything slammed into him at once, skipping dinner again, the rainbows, the blood, Thor. Thor. He knew. He could barely maintain his expression of blank nonchalance as Thor woke from his nap and started at Loki having moved. He was fussing about like a mother chicken, clucking over this and that. Loki wasn't listening, didn't Thor realize he had a headache?

"Thanks for… this," Loki gestured to himself, "but we should go to bed, I'll uh, see you tomorrow."

"No."

"No?"

"No." No wasn't a word Loki normally associated with his brother. Usually he was happy to keep people happy. "I'm not leaving you until you've at least had something to drink. You've lost a lot of fluids, haven't eaten, passed out. If you think you're getting away without having at least something you're crazy."

"I must be crazy, how could I not be? If I wasn't I wouldn't do this would I?"

"I think if you were crazy, you wouldn't have asked how you could not be." Thor rose, leaving a momentarily stunned Loki sitting in bed, cuddling Percibal, his ever faithful teddybear, to his side as Thor left and headed down the stairs. "Water, please…" Loki called weakly after him, not entirely sure his opinion mattered right this minute.

Sure enough it hadn't, Thor had returned and grinning presented him with a steaming mug.

"When we were little we used to make it for each other when one of us was sick, remember?"

Loki slowly nodded, inhaling deeply the rich smell of the spiced tea, "Thankyou" he said in barely a whisper, unsure as to how to react, his heart was clenching uncomfortably in his chest. Why would Thor have cared enough to remember this? They rarely spoke of their past, or anything anymore really. Thor had even remembered his favourite mug, the light green one with his name messily painted on it in a forest shade by Thor from when they were younger, Thor had a similar one from Loki dodne in red and yellow. It definitely wasn't the black and green striped mug their mother seemed to think he liked so much.

He'd never admit that at some of his lowest times he'd sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to make himself their tea. It was comforting to him, a relic of a better time full of naïve innocence and sunshine.

Sipping slowly he surveyed Thor over his mug. "It's good," he said.

Thor only smiled softly in return, waiting for him finish his drink so he could tuck him in Loki imagined. Setting the quickly emptied mug down on the bedside table he turned back to his brother, unsure as quite where to go from here. Slowly, so as not to aggravate his pains further, he rose from his bed to locate something he could sleep in and get to the bathroom. Thors eyes were still fixed on his bed, even after he'd moved, following his gaze Loki realized it was the blood that had captured his bothers attention. Dried patches of brown spattered over the sheets really wasn't the best of looks, in some places you could still see wetness glistening in the dim light. Loki grimaced.

"I'll go get the spare sheets and stick these in the wash then go to-"

"No." For the second time in less than an hour his brother surprised him, "Just stay in mine, we can keep each others nightmares away, as we used to."

Loki couldn't think, for all his careful words, of a single thing to say, so simply looked down and nodded.

Climbing in next to Thor could be worse Loki thought, his tightly curled body had been pulled up against his brothers chest, as they struggled to both fit under the duvet, an arm flung here, a leg there. It felt comfortable, warm.

For the first time in what felt like a decade, Loki fell asleep feeling relaxed.

_"No, no! Don't touch him!"_

_"There's nothing you can do little boy"_

_"Don't touch him!"_

_"Be silent"_

_"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"_

_"I said silence! Unless you want to take his place"_

Both woke in the darkness to the sound of Lokis hoarse screaming.

Tears tumbled down his face openly. How could he possibly have thought being in a different bed would have made a difference? Looking up and meeting Thors eyes, Loki was shocked to see them full of unshed tears.

"Loki…"

* * *

A/N: Thankyou so so much for your reviews, they mean so much3 I will try my darndest to keep my writing worthy of them!

For anyone who fancies some spiced tea Thor makes it dumping 2tsp sugar, 1tsp cinnamon, 1/3tsp allspice, 1/4tsp nutmeg, 1/4tsp ginger, 2 black cloves, a crushed cardamom pod, milk and black tea into a large mug, blasting in the microwave for 2 minutes then stirring.

Loki makes his the same way, but with oatly milk, 1tsp vanilla extract, twice as much cardamon and half as much sugar.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning they sat in silence. Thor slowly working through his cereal as though it were less than tasty, Loki leaning against the counter opposite him ignoring the now lukewarm mug of green tea cradled in his hands. Defeat the only ghost of an expression on his otherwise emotionless face.

They had been contained in their bubble of calm for a good half an hour, and Thor knew if he wanted talk, he would have to initiate it.

"What did you dream about?"

Startled from his reprieve Loki promptly spilt his tea over his fingers and onto the floor, leaving him standing in a puddle. It's a miracle, Thor thought, he didn't just drop the mug entirely. This isn't **my **Loki.

"I don't remember." It was far from convincing.

"Is it… is it why you… why you did…" Thors voice was quavering, "that?"

His question met in silence.

"Please, Loki," His brothers head snapped up at his name, "talk to me." The look on his brothers face was unreadable. His eyes flashed with unknown feelings as his lips quirked and his face struggled to keep up its mask.

* * *

Staring into his brothers blue eyes was torture. Pain was written all across his face and the usually full, smiling mouth was set into a firm line of determination.

Loki wasn't getting out of this. Not easily. For all his words, lying to his brother he found so hard. He'd gotten better at it over the years, but the desperation in his eyes, the burning fire he could see, the need to help – it broke something inside him.

"I -" Lokis voice cracked at the first word, who was he kidding? He couldn't tell Thor, how could he ever begin to explain **that** to him? How could he face the disgust that would capture his brother when he knew? How could he ever hope that his brother would still class him as just that, his **brother**? He was broken, how could he share that with Thor? How could he bear to bring him down for his own selfish needs? Thor who smiled so readily, so at happy with the world around him, so- Perfect. Unlike himself, disillusioned and tainted. Not worthy of anything close to the love his brother offered him.

He wouldn't be selfish. Never again.

_"They were fighting again"_

_"Were you okay?"_

_"I don't think they knew I was even there, I hid under the sofa"_

_"Was it bad?"_

_"It was my fault again"  
"It wasn't your fault."_

_"They were fighting about me…"_

He was always there to listen.

Ready to hold me.

_"Are you alright?"_

_"They chased me again"_

_"Did they catch you?"_

_"They ripped my coat, but it's fine, it's been worse. Are you okay? How are things at home?"_

_"I'm alright, home's not getting any better, but no worse either." He smiled._

How had he never noticed the forced smiles?

_He forced Loki behind him._

_"He's just a kid, leave him alone"_

_His voice even. Level._

_"My pleasure…"_

When they'd found his diary Loki had discovered he'd lied. Whenever he'd said he was fine, Loki now knew, he had lied. He'd been too blind to see it. Too wrapped up in his own grief. The abuse had continued until it was unbearable, but he'd borne it, to be strong for Loki, keeping him going was keeping him going. Loki had tried to help when he could, first aid when it was needed, tissues and hugs when they were desperately needed, but it hadn't been enough.

The guilt had torn Loki apart.

If he'd been more attentive, a better friend, maybe he wouldn't have stood forward, maybe he wouldn't have protected him as much as he had. Maybe they could have stood now together, helping one another.

_"Run!"_

He had fled. His eyes streaming, head pounding, he had run. Maybe if he'd stayed, just maybe, things would be different.

But he had run. And now he was gone.

**And it's your fault.** The words chased around his head in an echoing refrain of torment and guilt.

Loki stooped, grabbing the dishcloth laying on the counter as he did, to mop up the puddle of cold tea that had pooled around his toes. Facing the ground he could focus more easily, it was too hard to look at his brothers face. Too hard to see the accusation in his eyes. The hurt.

"It started when we found out about what I am. I don't know," Loki stared down at the cold wet cloth in his hands, refusing to look up least he lose his nerve, "I guess I wanted to see if my blood really was so different… And it felt nice."

"Nice?" There it was, the condescension, Thor hated him.

"Nice to be in control of what happened to me for once, rather than someone else."

"What do you-"

They froze as they heard the key in the lock, the laughing voices outside the door. Lokis eyes wide and frightened, he bolted upstairs.

Running again.

* * *

Thor sighed, he was so close. So close to his brother opening up to him and then, probably the source of at least some of his upset had walked through the door.

Bidding his parents a somewhat subdued "Good morning", and giving his mum a hug, Thor slowly ambled upstairs to get dressed. He could hear talking from his brothers room and as he pushed the door open Loki turned to him, face shining with tears and positively **snarled** at him. Venom dripping from his words as he told him to leave.

Sadly leaving, as his brother wished, Thor couldn't stop his nigh on ever present smile from slipping from his face. Where had it all gone wrong?

Putting on his ipod Thor got ready to go for a run, something, he thought fondly, they used to do together, seeing who was fastest. He smiled. It was always Loki who won, he always was fast on his feet.

His mind slipping to darker times, what if something **he'd **done had been part of why Loki did what he did. He couldn't handle that. Couldn't bear it.

Barely noticing he pounded out six miles easily, taking out his frustrations with his feet on the ground beneath him. His brother, his sweet little Loki, was struggling so clearly, why couldn't he share the burden? Didn't he know that nothing had changed since they were kids?

Thor would always protect him, from whatever it was he needed protecting from. If he could he would go into his brothers mind and protect him from whatever it was in his head he needed protecting from too. You may not think it to look at him but Thor wasn't the meat brained knuckle head he was perceived by most to be, he understood often even once the physical side of something is over, the mental scars can last for years.

But they could be healed with love and delicate care.

The feel of his arms around his brother whilst he slept was still fresh in his mind. The way they had fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle. Before Lokis dreams had taken him somewhere nasty, his brother had slept quietly. Thor knew this from having watched him until the moment his eyes could no longer stay open.

He had slowly stretched out from his fetal position, long lithe legs stretching out over his, one arm stretched out, the hand tangling in his hair, the other folded against his chest. The small smile on his face and small mewling noise that had slipped from his lips a couple of times contented. Loki had shifted in his sleep a couple of times, pressing himself a little closer to Thor each time, and Thor couldn't help but wonder what he had dreamt about.

He idly wondered if it had been about him.

If his shelter had somehow helped tame the demons of Lokis mind somewhat.

He turned abruptly, pushing harder than ever to make it home in record time, focusing only on pounding his muscles to distract himself from further thinking about how right his brother had felt sleeping in his arms. How soft.

He needed to distract himself from the idea that maybe as they were adoptive brothers it would somehow be acceptable.

And from the dream that just maybe his feelings were reciprocated.

* * *

A/N: Thankyou all again for reviews! They make it so much more fun to write :D -hugs and kisses for you all-


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